Yesterday. Friday, August 10, 2007. After a few day care centers between Atlanta and Tampa. After elementary and middle and eventually high school. Basically, after 17 years of life, the day came. Friday, August 10 came. It was the day that we drove Caitlin to her next phase of life. Just like leaving her at the kindergarten classroom so many years ago, her mother and I will leave her at her dorm at North Greenville University today. Yesterday was move in day, assembly day – if you will. It was about fitting the round peg (stuff) into a square hole (dorm). It was about meeting the roomate (Caitlin has never had to share a room with anyone) and the two other girls that will share the bathroom (did I mention that Caitlin has never had to share a room with one  - and never had to share a bathroom with 3 other girls. But it was a different sense of dropping her off than I imagine my mom had when she dropped me off. A before school keg party was in full swing and the floor was sticky from the spilled beer and the smell of “after-beer”  was fresh in the air when I was dropped off at Clemson. I don’t know that Robin’s drop off at the University of South Carolina was much different. It was a huge blessing to be able to drop Caitlin off and know that she didn’t have to face any of that. And so, we were able to rest.

We find it almost impossible to handle unconditional love because we don’t understand it. We understand conditional love, the answer to why you love me; smart, funny, beautiful. But what happens when those things aren’t there, we don’t really understand how someone could love us when we are unlovely. And then add that to an invisible God and the whole thing seems virtually impossible to accept a God could love us as unlovely. Let me do something to earn that love! Let me be funny, or beautiful, or smart – but all that falls short and we have to accept that God loves us – period. Not because we’re funny or smart or tall or short, He just loves us – period. 

So, night four, without Robin, Caitlin and Emily, Zach and I fend for ourselves. Tonight we left day camp and headed home to do all the Thursday errands and headed back out to Andretti’s. There is a requirement to have a driver’s license ($7) so I found my old license to save the cost – but of course, they expire, who would have thought. But Zach and I suit up and sit through the safety video and then don our head socks and helmets and head out to the track. What a blast to see my 10 year old take the steering wheel and head out onto the track. We were the only two on the track so we didn’t have to worry about congestion and I tried for many laps to scoot by him but he ended up leaving me in the dust. It’s great to listen to him relive his experience like a badge of honor. Like a soldier that has seen battle and come out on the other end of it to tell the tale. Great moments for a dad and son to share.